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Satanic Rites 1
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Satanic Rites - Issue 1 (1992-05-17)(Destiny).adf
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Annoying
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1992-05-01
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{6 Annoying Things
{4 By Ken D.
{7Yes, it's {3another {7of those
"{5Things I really hate{5" articles.
{31. {4New Software which won't run
on the A500+
{7 You would think that, after being
available for {46 {7months now, coders
would have sussed that people }7DO
{7own the new machine, and therefore
want games that work. But, no, let's
just keep the same, non-working
protection guys, why bother?.
{2Kickstart 2.0 {7has only been around
for a couple of years, after all.
Worse than this is the {1crackers and
trainers {7which turn a piece of
working software into a {6formatted
disk. {7Watch that power light
}2flash! {7 Please, guys, if you're
going to crack a game, {5please
{7check it runs on the A500+ as well.
Please? Pretty please? If anyone has
a working A500+ version of
{6`Mega-lo-Mania',{7 contact me!
{32. {4Old Software which won't run
on the A500+
{7 OK, it has to be expected that
there will be software that is
incompatible. But most of this is due
to {2lousy coding! {7Games which
start up, say to themselves {5"Aha!
Expansion Memory! Into Fast RAM with
my data!"{7, and then crashes because
there isn't any bloody {4Fast {7RAM,
just {5chip, chip {7and more {5chip{7!
Some other software seems prone to
screen corruption, as if the modulo is
set wrong. }2Surely {7this could be
fixed my a small piece of code.
Anyone out there going to knock a
routine up? {4Demos, intros and
{5trainers {7seem particularly prone
to this...
(I think you'll find that this
problem can be solved by allocating
{4`absolute' {7memory instead of
{4fastmem. {7A small program running
in the background trapping non-working
code, would seem to be an interesting
idea! {3Coders?? {5-Ed.{7)
There is some (mostly PD) software
that won't run properly, as KS2.04
doesn't immediately open up a screen
after booting; it waits until
something is output to the screen.
This causes software such as NUKE 1.3b
and slideshows to appear without any
text, or not appear at all. Luckily,
this is easily fixed, just shove an
{5"Echo"{7 at the start of the
startup-sequence.
{33. {4Upgrades to XCopy.
{7 Why!?! "Hey guys, we've just
changed a {2pixel {7at the top left of
the screen, let's call it {6version
10.4{7". A few weeks later ...
"Well, that's the mouse pointer speed
changed, time for version 12.3..."
In normal circumstances, a
manufacturer would release a piece of
software as version 1.0. A few months
later, bug reports would be flooding
in, so they fix these, add a few
features, and release version 1.1.
The process of refinement goes on, up
to (say) 1.5. A couple of years after
the original launch, version 2.0 is
released, and the whole process
continues over again.
In the past 6 months, I have
recieved 4 {3(count 'em) {74 different
versions of {4XCopy.{7 And what's the
difference between them?. Well, 6.4
has new graphics, you can switch to
60HZ and there are a few minor bugs
fixed, but }4BUGGER ALL ELSE!
{7There's very little different to
XCopy 3.4, which wasn't that far apart
from XCopy 2.2! Fine, it's probably
the worlds most popular Amiga disk
copier (although I prefer {6SuperDuper
2.0 {7myself), but let's not go
overboard, hmmm? Especially since
}7Cyclone {7(bundled with XCopy) is
hopeless.
{34. {4Magazines who hype crap games.
{4 Sorry? {5Did someone say "{2Amiga
Format{5"? {6Surely you jest?!
{7 We're talking about the magazine
which gave "{1The Blues Brothers{7"
}688% {7here, you know? {1The Blues
Brothers{7, probably the crappest game
of all time, with its uncontrollable
characters, and unplayable two player
mode. And the music - }7barf! {7 I
bet the wonderful playable demo that
AF gave satisfied the public, didn't
it... especially since it {3didn't
work{7 on most machines. They forgot
that a {5snapshot{7 from an {2Action
Replay cartridge {7would only run on
machines with the same configuarion.
And when you died ... {2sorry
folks{7, time to reset the machine,
and load again! {4If I was Titus, I'd
sue.
{35. {4Magazines which ignore that
fact that the piracy scene exists. {7
Oh no, not {2Amiga Format {7again!
It's not }7THAT{7 bad... (who says?
-Ed)
Take a look at the {5May 1992
issue{7, {4PD section. {7Oh look,
there's LSD's {3Grapevine 8
{7reviewed; I wonder what the review
has to say about the fact that it's
aimed at {2pirates{7, and the {2Amiga
piracy scene {7? Hmmm...bugger all,
it would appear. Great for contacting
coders, eh? I suppose that's what he
takes all the appeals for
"{4contacts{7" as...
{36. {4Schools which waste money on
unnessasary equipment.
{7 It's criminal ... I'm typing this
on a {3B2000{7, with {28 {7Megs of
Fast RAM, 1 Meg of chip, an {168020{7
accelerator board, {4PC bridgeboard,
{6extra floppy,{7 and {452Meg hard
drive{7. It's one of 3 in this room,
and there are 4 A500s, with 2 Megs,
extra drives etc. and what do we use
them for? }4DPAINT! {7 Next to me is
a {5Panasonic VW-EC300 {7Video Editing
Controller, linked to 2 {3SVHS
{7Stereo video decks. This is
connected to this conputer via a G2
genlock/VideoCentre. Currently there
are only {52 {7people in the school
that know how to use this equipment -
Me and a friend (Hi, Pete). The
teacher in charge of this room, from
the Art Department (naturally), hasn't
got a snowballs chance of getting
anywhere with it. He's still reading
the manual.
But never mind, because said Art
Teacher has just left for a term, to
go around other schools in the area,
telling them how to use computers...
{37. {45 (or more) disk games.
I loved the first Lesuire Suit
Larry. Not only was it a great game,
but it came on one disk. Now we're up
to LSL 5 (were did LSL 4 go?), and
it's SEVEN disks. Fine for those with
a hard drive, but for floppy users
(even with a second drive), you had
better get used to swapping those
disks every time you ever a new
location. The game becomes unplayable
before the player has got anywere, and
the player gives up.
{38. {4RSI-Demomaker Intros
{7 "{3Moron of MegaCrackers Game
Compilation No. 352{7", eh?. Disk
in, boot up. ({4Whirr .... Grunt
.....{7) Oh look, a nice intro. Hmmm
... I'm sure I've seen that font
before, though... and that parallax
star effect ... and that vector
object ... and those bob stars ...
and ....
Listen, folks, the {2RSI-Demomaker
{7just doesn't look original anymore.
Great for showing your mother how good
a coder you are (splutter), but PLEASE
no more rehashed single-file
compilations with your "groups" RSI-DM
intro at the start. Leave it to the
big boys, hmmm? (Look at Crystals,
LSDs, Vision Factorys intros, and
you'll see why...)
{39. {4Programs with foriegn keymaps
There aren't too many of these, but
you'll know when you get one. The
German ones reverse the y and z keys,
giving zou some strange looking words.
The French has the q and a's reverse,
which cqn be auite qnnoying.
And it's not just a case of a
simple "Setmap GB", because these
buggers read the keyboard directly.
Cheers, guys! Danke schon, fellas!
{310. {4People who do "annoying
things" lists
}4Moaning bastards! {1If you don't
like the {4Amiga {1so much, {2sell it!
({3Personally Ken, {7I find the German
keymap easier to use because I have
become accustomed to it. If people
start {6`Setmap GB'ing {7in their
startup sequences, well then the
confusion starts for me!!! Thanks for
this coooool article. {7I liked the
comments about "{4Amiga Format{7"! I
admit to being }3really {3shocked when
I read their {4`Grapevine review'.
{7I thought the way in which these
supposed `teams of experts' slagged
off the whole way in which the scene
works {5fucking discusting. {7I
haven't got the actual article here
because I personally never buy the
magazine, but I remember some comments
about how we slag off
{4computer-illiterates {7by calling
them `lamers'. They said something
along the lines of it being
{6`socially backward'. {7Socially
backward! Bloody cheek! {1In my view
it's just jealousy! {4AF {7could
never get away with printing the
articles Grapevine does, and
furthermore if GV was sold in shops at
3 quid a go as AF is, I know which one
I'd buy. The {6Amiga Format {7team in
fact know very little about the Amiga,
and would never get involved with the
scene because of the scene's elitism.
I know this is a {1soap-box lecture{7,
but I think you'll agree that when
{2ST/Amiga {7format split up, the
Amiga side got a very raw deal.....
-Ed)
Finish.